Guide To Getting It On

Information You Can Trust about Sex

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Please Read This or Watch This Brief Video Before Using This Website

This is a website for sex education. It contains explicit images and videos of genitals and of people having sex. The information on this website should not be used for medical or psychological diagnosis or treatment. If you have questions of a medical or psychological nature, please consult with a licensed healthcare provider, psychologist, or sex therapist. Sex should always be consensual and should stop the moment you or a partner feels discomfort or pain that is not intended.

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The Ultimate Guide To The Clitoris

“I just watched The Ultimate Guide To The Clitoris and it’s totally fabulous. It is clear and practical. I will encourage many of my patients to watch this, and suggest that couples watch it together.” –Dr. Marty Klein, author of Sexual Intelligence, America’s War on Sex and His Porn, Her Pain.

A Woman’s Guide to Men’s Foreskins

We now have the first generation of men in North America whose foreskins are intact, and a lot of women have no clue what to do with them. If you are an intact male and have a female partner, be sure to watch this video together. It could be a great conversation starter and a win-win for both of you. ICYDK, foreskins are Nature’s way of giving a partner more to work with!

Man giving woman oral sex, with her hand behind his head. Looking down from above, his arm wrapped around the back of her thigh and his fingers over her mons pubis area.

When Giving Her Oral Sex…

“When you are giving me oral sex and I’m on the brink of orgasm, DO NOT VARY YOUR TECHNIQUE. Keep the same rhythm and speed. Please.”

— female age 27

Image of a romantic couple kissing in the shower.

Sex in the shower — Essential Advice!


GRIPPER BARS: Get ADA approved gripper bars for your shower — not that the ADA rates them for shower sex. One of you can grab the bars, making sex in the shower safer and giving you more leverage. (If your parents are visiting and say “WTF?” tell them they raised you to be responsible and to care about safety.)

Gripper or grab bars cost between $25 and $46 USD: Moen 8942 Home Care 42-Inch Grab Bar Stainless 42 inches (4.8 out of 5 stars from 3,233 reviews on Amazon,

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Woman sitting on a toilet.

“Do Women Pee Through Their Vagina?”

In a gamer’s chat that included a number of adult males who have wives or girlfriends, a question was asked whether women pee through their vaginas. About 50% of the men said yes, and 50% said no. The pics in this slideshow should help clear that up.

WARNING: The following slideshow includes pics of an educational nature that are HIGHLY EXPLICIT, proving that education does not need to be boring!

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A man wearing boxer shorts with an erection, standing uncomfortably.

Morning Wood Feels Different than Erections From Being Aroused

Women often assume that an erection is an erection and it means a man is sexually aroused. Yet there are two different kinds of erections: the kind that result from feeling sexually aroused, and the not-aroused kind that occur during REM sleep and can also happen during the day, especially during the morning hours.

For several months, I included a question on my sex survey asking men if their early-morning (waking) erections feel the same or different than the erections they get when they are sexually aroused.

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Two men sitting up together in bed.

For Our Brothers Who Are Gay and Bisexual

Straight and gay men have much more in common than most people think. It doesn’t matter if we’re into women or men, our brains are in a constant battle with our genitals over who’s in charge.

All of us understand how penises work–we started yanking on our own when we were still in the womb. However, vaginas are their own universe. So a website for men who are into women needs to tackle different issues than a site for men who are into men.

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A woman gorging herself on pieces of cake.

The Quickest Way to a Woman’s Vagina Is Through Her Stomach

One of the best ways to get laid is to learn how to bake a cheesecake, pop out chocolate chip cookies, and the occasional Caribbean Rum Cake — none of which requires a massive amount of time or skill. Your efforts will also catch thanks from friends and family. Check out our RECIPES for a good place to start.

A woman and man hugging tenderly.

Good Sex after Bad–Rape and Abuse

A chapter from the “Guide To Getting It On” for women who have experienced rape or sexual abuse in the past, and for their current partners. Includes insightful observations and suggestions to help couples have wonderful sex when one or both have had bad experiences in the past.

Click Here to for a free PDF of the chapter.

Click Here to download a free EPUB of the chapter that you can read on an ebook reader. 

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Closeup of the chest of a woman wearing a bra, and of a woman not wearing a bra, with an inset showing the mammograms of breasts that are fatty and dense.

Breast Density

Many women have breasts that are dense as opposed to being fatty. (Breasts that are not dense are called fatty.) While it is impossible to tell if a woman’s breasts are dense by feeling them, it is very important for women to know if their breasts are dense. That’s because it is difficult to spot cancer in routine mammograms when a woman has dense breasts (see the mammograms below).

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A woman pulling up her shirt showing how one of her breasts is larger than the other.

A Woman’s Breasts Are Usually Not the Same Size

More than 90% of women have breasts that are different from each other in size, shape, or position on their chest. It’s usually the left breast that’s larger. In almost 25% of women, the larger breast is at least one cup size bigger than the other. This can make bra shopping an even bigger challenge than usual.

Over the course of a woman’s lifetime, her breast size will change up to six or seven times.

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How to Cure a Noisy Bed

Let’s say you just moved back home with your mom and dad and the last thing you want is for the whole house to know when you’re having sex thanks to a squeaky bed.

This is easier said than done, given how intercourse can turn a bed into a battering ram. The entire bed will sway toward the foot with each out-thrust and toward the head with each in-thrust. So if it’s hitting the wall,

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A woman unzipping a man's pants, with him handing her a condom.

Women Don’t Like the Way Condoms Feel Any More Than Men Do

Condoms are one of the few ways to prevent the spread of many sexually transmitted infections. Yet men often complain about the way condoms feel, and we assume that men are the only ones who don’t like the way condoms feel.

So imagine my surprise at the groundswell of complaints I’ve received from women when I started asking this question on my sex survey: “Do condoms impact the sensation you receive from intercourse?”

I’ve now received hundreds of complaints from women about condoms.

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Urinals along a wall in a men's restroom.

Unable to Pee in Public; aka Bashful Bladder, Being Pee Shy, or Paruresis

You wouldn’t believe the number of men who have trouble using public rest rooms, and not because they don’t like the smell or have hygiene issues.

Being unable to relieve yourself in a public rest room is called paruresis or bashful bladder syndrome. It’s a very real problem that can limit how far away from home a person can venture and for how long. Being pee-shy can get in the way of taking a urinalysis at work or for a job interview–forget being able to take a leak at a concert,

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A father with a young baby sleeping on his chest.

The Sometimes Complex Emotions of Fathers-to-Be

There are dozens of books and posts for pregnant moms about the feelings they are experiencing. Yet dads-to-be experience their own pregnancy-related emotions that are seldom discussed. Fortunately, we have the research of James Herzog to provide valuable insights into the emotions of dads-to-be.

According to Dr. Herzog, dads-to-be often fall into two groups: those whom he calls more attuned, and those whom he describes as being less attuned. One of the biggest factors that determine which group a man falls into is the influence of his own father or father substitutes when he was growing up.

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How Men Ejaculate and Why Semen Drips Out of a Woman’s Vagina

In this brief video (only three minutes!), you’ll learn where semen is made (probably not where you think), how it gets propelled from the inside of a man’s body to the outside, and why it starts dripping out a woman’s vagina like it’s water in about fifteen minutes. Co-hosted with Bob the Llama.

Hand around a woman's neck with a "NO" symbol over the image.

Why You Should NEVER Choke a Partner During Sex!

The single most dangerous act that porn has helped popularize is the idea that women like to be choked during sex.

How Dangerous? As dangerous as a police chokehold.

How Popular? According to a female reader who attends a major university: “Several male partners have choked me during sex, without asking!” In case you think she is exaggerating, consider these findings from a recent study of almost 5,000 undergraduates at a large university in the midwest:

“A majority of undergraduates in our sample have choked or been choked during sex…

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Profile of a soldier wearing a helmet.

Resources for Veterans, Active Military and Their Families

Here is our list of some of the best and most helpful resources for both active members of the military and veterans, and their families.

For Active Military Members and Vets

Kyle Prellberg’s Story—A Veteran’s Struggle with PTSD (from CNN).

Love After War–An Award-Winning Documentary Over 600,000 men and women who have served our country since 9/11 are living with post-traumatic stress and/or traumatic brain injury. Thousands of others have sustained catastrophic physical disabilities.

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Woman in teeshirt with the words "My Body MY RULES" across the front.

What Every Man (and Woman) Needs To Know About Consent

Consent in sex is massively important, yet it can be very confusing–especially because of the well-intended but often misleading slogans about it. This free chapter from the Guide To Getting It On is being used in college courses, and is one of the most helpful explanations about consent there is.

Click Here to for a free PDF of the chapter.

Click Here to download a free EPUB of the chapter that you can read on an ebook reader. 

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A close up of the front of a woman's pelvis, with a uterus overlay to show where the cervix and uterus are located.

The Cervix

The cervix is the lower third of the uterus. It comes out in the back of the vagina. Some women find that having their cervix stimulated feel very good. Paul is in the process of doing a podcast and a video on this. An excellent source of information about the cervix is

A couple standing, he's kissing her and has on arm around her back, and she's leaning into him with her hand on his chest. He's not wearing a shirt. There's a microphone on the side of the couple.

Guide To Getting It On Videos and Podcast

Most men learn about sex from porn, which does not always provide an accurate view of women’s sexuality. That’s one of the reasons why this website exists: to provide reliable information for men who want to learn more about women’s bodies and women’s sexuality.

Also, women live more than five years longer than men do. Men die by suicide three-to-five times more often than women do, and we make up almost seven-out-of-every-ten drug overdose deaths.

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Images of male baseball players getting hit in the testicles with the caption "If you want to have children some day, wear a cup."

Protect Your Balls and Brain!

One of the leading causes of infertility in young men is athletic injuries. Fortunately, there’s a new generation of cups you can try, in addition to compression shorts to hold them in place. Plus, wearing a cup will make you look really well hung. From baseball and lacrosse to MMA, wrestling, football, and paintball, you CAN find a cup that is comfortable and works well for you. However, you probably won’t find the coolest of cups at your local Target,

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